Category Archives: positive thinking

Watch Your Language!

When I was a kid, whenever I said anything unkind or unsavory (who, me? cuss?), my mother would wash my mouth out with soap.

If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all, young lady!” were her famous words.

My mother went through a lot of soap in those years.

She made me realize that my words, my sentences, and the language in my mind and in my conversations had power. I had some thinking to do.

I could use my mind language and words to hurt others, including myself. Or, I could use them to help and heal others, including myself.

I learned that they played a very big role in creating my future.

Our words and thoughts will either limit us or expand us.

We can speak as if we are in charge or as if we are victims of circumstance. We can speak in the language of creation or in the language of reaction.

The language of creation is like this: “I choose…,” “I intend…,” and “I will…,” while the language of reaction says, “What should I do?” or “I don’t know what to do.”

Big difference!

It’s going from an “I don’t know how to” mentality to an “I want to” attitude and that’s because desire is not a fixed state. It is fluid and dynamic, ever-burning within us, making us burst at the seams as we expand our consciousness and awareness in the creative process.

So, if you want to transform your life, watch your language. Carefully choose what you say and think.

Awaken to your status as creator, not victim.

As creator and owner of your life, focus your energy on creating what you want by using language that builds your future, not on wasting your energy with language that describes (and keeps you in) the past.

 As you commit to creating, you’ll sentence yourself to a life of goodness.

Spiritwork:

Pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth today. Are they kind and loving, or harmful and hateful? If you find yourself thinking for saying unkind things, correct them by turning them into kinder, more positive words (or you can wash your mouth out with soap, but I wouldn’t recommend that!).

If you want to spread some good cheer and lift people, compliment them. When you do this, you will find that you will receive a surge of creative energy, too. Make sure the compliments are sincere. If someone is facing a challenge, encourage him or her. Use your words to inspire others. Give as many as you can in the course of the day, and if you’re feeling really daring, continue this exercise the rest of the week or longer.

People love compliments because it makes them feel good about themselves. As a teacher, I made it a point to always find something encouraging to say about students’ papers, even if the paper needed improvement or a do-over. If for some reason I forgot to put my signature smiley faces on their work, they would let me know about it in an instant! Give away smiles today and see what happens.

Blessings!

Related Posts:

Read the introduction to 31 Days of Spiritual Growth here, and find links to all posts in this series.

Get my new e-book, The ABC’s of Dealing with Negative People. Available now!

Overcoming The Bully In Our Brains

Some of my best conversations are with myself.

Sure, “we” have our differences at times, but they always resolve themselves after more thought and discussion.

When I talk with myself, I am my own cheerleader, and sometimes (rarely) I am my own worst critic.

But for the most part, I practice positive self-talk.

Practicing self-talk does not mean you are losing your mind. We all talk to ourselves, if not verbally, in our own heads.

There are two types of thinking: positive and negative. These are our only two choices. And the beauty (and simplicity) of this is that we get to choose. No one else does our thinking for us; if they do, then we are nothing more than their puppets or slaves.

If you’re a glass-is-half-full kind of person, you know that positive thinking (self-talk) reduces stress and allows you to live a much happier, fulfilling, healthier life.  But if you subscribe to the half-empty style of thinking, don’t despair; you can learn positive thinking skills.

We generate between 12,000 – 60,000 thoughts per day (depending on the depth of our thinking), according the National Science Foundation, and about 80% are negative. Whoa! That’s A LOT of thoughts. And if a high percentage of those thoughts is considered negative, how sad! That’s like having a full-time bully in your head.

But fear not. Here’s how to take control.

1.  Practice awareness. Become aware of your type of thinking. Root yourself in the moment and examine the kinds of thoughts you are having. Once you have awareness, you have control.

2.  Identify areas in your life that need a positive change. Examine those areas about which you tend to think negatively. Start with one small area and approach it with a more positive mindset.

3.  Visualize yourself as a magnet or a radio station attracting a signal. We are what we think. The more energy you give to a thought, whether positive or negative, the more likely it will materialize in your life, just as you’ve imagined it. Become conscious of the kinds of things you are attracting into your life.

4.  Do mental check-ins. Periodically during the day, evaluate the kinds of thoughts you are thinking. For each negative thought, replace it with a positive one. Strive to put a positive spin on each one. Be your own personal cheerleader.

5.  Surround yourself with positive-minded people. Being in the company of positive and supportive people encourages us to become more optimistic. These are the people whom you can trust for advice and feedback. They alleviate our stress; whereas, negative people may increase our stress levels, making us doubt our ability to handle stress in healthy ways.

6.  Lead a healthy lifestyle. A change in diet while adding exercise to your daily routine affects mood and greatly reduces stress. This helps to fuel your mind and body in healthy ways to reduce stress. When we feel healthier, we feel better about ourselves and our lives.

7.  Seek humor in everything. Give yourself permission to laugh, even during difficult or challenging times. Humor helps us to maintain our sanity.

Practicing these tools will help you to find and maintain balance and peace of mind. The bully in our brain will back down each time you throw punches of positivity. You’ll be surprised at how much control you really have.

How are your inner conversations? What other tips can you share?

"I Am" Statements and How They Work

“Feeling is what you get for thinking the way you do,” says author and lecturer Marilyn Vos Savant.

Indeed.

Thoughts generate feelings. Ever notice how your body reacts to certain thoughts or situations? The body is the best indicator of our emotions and reactions.

Whenever we are exposed to negative thoughts and emotions, whether they originate from others or ourselves, the body responds in a number of ways. Tension may show up in your head, your shoulders, your stomach, or any other part of your body, making you feel ill at ease. Such negativity compounded over time breaks the body down; serious illness results, or worse yet, death.

Likewise, exposing ourselves to positive thoughts and emotions lifts our mood and spirit. The body feels lighter, energetic, and happier. Harmony flows, allowing for healing and positive change.

When you become aware of your own reactions to people or situations, notice how it settles in your body. This awareness is the first step in spiritual maturity and in loving yourself. Once you develop this awareness, you will be able to control how you react and how you feel the next time you are faced with negativity.

It’s important to make yourself a priority. This is not a selfish act; it is a loving act. Taking care of your body and mind and becoming aware of how you react and feel will help you to better serve not only yourself but others. It’s hard to radiate love when feeling stressed or ill.

One way to begin is by using “I Am” statements. An “I Am” statement is a phrase to think or say aloud and is followed by a word or words of your choosing to describe you or the you that you want to be. What words do you find yourself using after the phrase I Am? These two simple words are very powerful because they influence your reality. They must be used very carefully and lovingly.

Understand that the subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it; it doesn’t differentiate between what is real and what is imagined.  It will act upon any information or instruction that you give it, and as a result it will attract to us conditions and circumstances according to our predominant thought patterns.  “I Am” statements that are repeated over and over imprint themselves in the subconscious mind which acts on the images we’ve created.

Using “I Am” statements will either reinforce the you that you are or they will manifest the you that you want to be.  But it begins with you.  Start today.  Here are some:

I am beautiful.
I am healthy.
I am kind.
I am loving.
I am intelligent.
I am creative.
I am powerful.
I am wealthy.
I am a good person.
I am happy.

You get the idea.  Now go be the you you are meant to be.

Impossible: Banned Word of the Day (Everyday)

Audrey Hepburn once said, “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, ‘I’m possible.'”

I like that.

When we tell ourselves that things aren’t possible, we are making the conscious choice that nothing will work out.

This is a tragedy.

Telling ourselves that things are impossible sets things in motion to prove that things are indeed impossible. Why would we limit ourselves this way? Using the word “impossible” blocks the passageway to any possibilities. It blocks the positive flow of Universal energy.  It sets up roadblock after roadblock until one must retreat altogether.

So, I vote to ban the word “impossible.” Get rid of it. It’s a word that is negatively charged. It’s a word with a dense vibration. It’s a word of failure. Why use it? It’s a word that only a closed mind (and heart) will use.

When we tell ourselves that things are indeed possible, we are making the conscious choice that things will work out…in fact, they are working out, even if we don’t see what is happening behind the scenes. Our belief makes things possible. When we agree to open our minds and our hearts, the Universe starts beating in unison with us, helping us to find ways to accomplish the things we desire.

You can remain in the rut of impossibility, or you can open ourselves up to a Universe rich with possibility. Right now, take note of your mental state. Where is it?  Take note of the thoughts dominating your mind.  Are they positive or negative? Make the choice to ban the word “impossible” from your head. When you choose to move away from impossibility, you align (or realign) your thoughts and intentions with a Higher Reality. And that’s when the fun begins!

Greatness Awaits

You are the creator of your own reality. No one else is.

You are free to make your own choices. Allowing someone else to attempt to create your reality is slavery. What satisfaction is there in being enslaved? It is your birthright to create.

By intentionally guiding your own life, you live your life on YOUR terms.

So, how do you get there from where you are now?

Align (or realign) yourself with Source/God/Infinite Intelligence/Creator. This is a conscious decision on your part. When you open up your heart to Source and the Universal Laws, you agree to allow the life force to move in and through you freely to help you create your reality.

Understand that your current state of reality is a result of your thinking, not someone else’s. You created this reality because of the kinds of thoughts you have generated. Thoughts are energy, and they have either a positive charge or a negative charge. What you have in your life is the result of holding yourself in a vibrational pattern that matched the vibration of your desire. In other words, you are what you think. You attract what you think about the most. Your dominant thoughts get “picked up” by the universe (law of attraction); the universe then works in the mysterious ways that it does to manifest things into your life.  Imagine yourself as a radio transmitter, sending out signals. That’s when the universe tunes in.

The universe will always respond to you.  So, you must be aware of your thought process (are your thoughts negative or positive?).  You must also be aware of your feeling process.  The two must match to bring about desired results.  If they do not, then there is an imbalance that must be addressed.  For example, if you desire a loving relationship, yet you harbor a fear of rejection, you’ve negated that love because of your fear.  Love and fear cannot coexist in the same space.  Something needs to change.  In order to move forward, you would need to release those resistant thoughts (fears).  Feeling any kind of discord when you think about your desires only pushes those desires further away.

Consciously return to the knowledge that you are free. You’ve always been free and always will be. Examine any resistance within yourself. Release what is holding you back…release it in forgiveness and in love. You may need to make some changes in your life. Examine what is holding you back from realizing your authentic self. Many times this requires a shift in your thinking from one of fear to one of love, from one of negativity to one that is positive.  As you become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and as you realize your creative potential, you will be empowered to move forward in freedom.

 When you team up with the Universe, you will not be denied. Greatness awaits.

Ready, Set, Manifest!

What you think about, activates.

Our thoughts are energy.  Every time we think a thought, we give it life.  Stop and ponder that.  If a thought didn’t exist before, it does now, simply by thinking it.

When we think a thought repeatedly, we water it with energy.  It grows like a seedling.  The more energy we give it, the more it grows into existence.  Sooner or later, that thought becomes laden with fruit that is either healthy or poisonous, depending on the kinds of thoughts generated and repeated.  Since we have the power to give life to thought, we also have the power to choose the kinds of thoughts we think.

Try this little exercise for today:

Find a quiet space, free of distractions.  Get comfortable and allow yourself to tune into your environment.  Take a few deep breaths to center yourself.  If you are outside, listen to the birds, feel the breeze, smell the scent in the air.  If you are inside, listen to calming music, feel the warmth of your own body, light a candle.

Close your eyes and picture a small object, an animal, or a person.  Make it someone or something that you have not seen in quite some time.  As you imagine that person or object, picture a pink bubble of love surrounding him/her/it.  You may repeat the person’s/object’s name aloud or think it quietly and repeatedly.  After a few minutes, give gratitude for that person or object appearing in your life, and then release the bubble upward to the light.  Let it go.  

Throughout the day, whenever you find yourself between tasks, stop to think about that object/person and take a few minutes to send energy…water your thought with love.  Give thanks again and release.

Now be on the look-out.

Don’t worry about when it will manifest.  Simply expect it.  You may find yourself flipping through a magazine or surfing channels when suddenly you see the object or person to whom you sent your energy.  Someone may bring it up in conversation.  Your phone may ring and find the person of whom you were thinking is on the other end.  And when this happens, give thanks for you’ve just experienced synchronicity.

Shift Happens

Let’s face it.  We have our good days and our bad days.  Things happen that affect our moods.  It used to drive me nuts when someone would say, “Think positive,” or “Keep your chin up,” as I faced challenging times.  Nothing like the obvious to irritate you.  I knew that thinking positively would help me, but I wanted to know how to get there when I felt anything but positive.  When my friend and spiritual mentor Merv told me to practice gratitude, no matter the situation, my eyes and heart opened, and things began to change for the better.  Something shifted inside.  I began to feel lighter in my being.

Giving gratitude for what you have is a great success technique when you need to raise your level of vibration from the depths.  Well, why should I give thanks? one may ask.  Well, why not?  You’ll actually do more harm than good by staying at a lower vibration.  Giving gratitude is a spiritual practice that will elevate your mood.  As you voice (or think) your thanks, you emit positive energy out into the Universe.  The Universe responds in kind by giving you more of those things for which you are grateful because it is a law by which the Universe abides.  It wants to give.

Another way to help you raise your vibration is to use the Emotional Guidance Scale* which charts 22 of our emotions.  The lower one goes on the scale, the unhappier that person is.  The higher, the happier.  One doesn’t have to work through each one to get higher on the scale.  Ask yourself where you are emotionally on this scale.  Then through positive self-talk, move yourself up.  Give gratitude for moving up.  Do things that make you feel happy.  Before you know, things have shifted and you find yourself moving right along.  You feel better.

EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SCALE:


1 . Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2 . Passion
3 . Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4 . Positive Expectation/Belief
5 . Optimism
6 . Hopefulness
7 . Contentment
8 . Boredom
9 . Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelmingness
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

Let’s say you are feeling angry because someone you love said something derogatory to you.  Not only did it anger you, but it made you feel insecure and unworthy.  What you are feeling has tripled and now you are carrying a very heavy load of emotional baggage.  And you are telling yourself, “That jerk.  How could he say that to me?  Am I really that way?  Maybe I am!  I feel so terrible about myself.  I’m worthless.  He’s right.”  Now you’ve really piled it on! How do you even begin to change this?

Acknowledge how you feel.  Admit your pain.  Then give thanks for moving up the scale.  Begin thinking about things that make you feel happy.  Think about all the kind words that others have said about you.  And hold on to those thoughts.  Your self-talk may be something like, “He has know idea who I am.  What he said is merely his perception, not mine.  People have always commented on what a good person I am.  They have told me how kind I am.  I AM a kind person!  I AM a good person! No one can stop me from being me!”  Suddenly all that emotional baggage is gone.  You’ve shifted and moved up the emotional scale.  As you hold on to those positive thoughts, you automatically let go of the old, negative ones because you can’t hold both a positive and a negative thought at the same time.  You may vacillate between the two, but the more energy you give to the positive, the better you feel, and the higher you go on the emotional scale.

When shift happens, give gratitude!

*Emotional Guidance Scale as used in Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks, pg. 114.