I knew an agoraphobic who lived her life as a recluse. Everything worried her. She lived in a continual state of fear. She kept her shades drawn, never letting in any light. Her home was very dark, the air stale, the energy heavy.
Cancer finally cured her.
She said it was the best thing that ever happened to her because it forced her out of her comfort zone to get the help and treatment she needed, and as a result, she began living her life again once she was cancer-free.
We don’t need something drastic like cancer to happen to us to move us past our fear.
We can move past fear by taking responsibility for it.
Much of our fear comes from downgraded thinking. Rather than focus on our possibilities, we play out the worst-case scenarios in our minds, and as we play them over and over, we get addicted to this kind of thinking. Sooner or later, we end up tumbling down the staircase into a dark pit of despair.
We hit bottom.
Ouch. And then we are faced with a serious choice.
Do we stay there? Or, do we find a way out?
Finding our way out requires us to upgrade our thinking.
Our brains are designed to seek solutions.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have video games. We had to make up our own games. One fun (and scary) game was flashlight tag…in the graveyard.
Well, I was “it” and had to search for someone to tag. As I was creeping around, I didn’t see a newly dug grave and in I went. I screamed for help, but no one came. They were too busy running away from me!
The grave was just deep enough where I couldn’t climb out. I. Was. Petrified.
It was dark. It was cold. My heart knocked at my ribs. I kept imagining zombies coming to kill me. My mind became a circus of fear. I screamed again, and then I got angry. So I started kicking the wall of dirt in front of me. Each time I kicked I left an indentation.
And then it hit me. If I made a few more indents in the wall, I could climb out! I went to work with my flashlight, using it to carve out spaces for my feet so I could step up and get the leverage I needed to lift myself out. My fear left me. I was out in no time. Bruised and battered, but out.
When the solution came to me, my thinking immediately shifted from one of panic to one of freedom. An opportunity presented itself, and I took action.
Otherwise, the zombies would have gotten me.
Moving past fear means moving through it. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where there seems to be no solution whatsoever. That’s because we are focused on the fear of no solution. As soon as we upgrade our thinking from an outdated version, by telling ourselves that there is a solution, that fear downgrades and we find ourselves pushing through with a renewed vitality.
The first step is the biggest step, and that is the step we take within when we change our thinking from one of defeat to one of victory.
You take the first step. Source takes the second step. By the time you get to the third step, you realize that it was Source that took the first step. Source was with you the whole time.
And all those zombies that you invented can now rest in peace.
Masterminds Emerson and Twain both said, “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” When you confront the T-Rex of fear, it turns into a tiny gekko. If you run from it, it will continue to chase you and consume you.
Think of something you’ve always feared doing. Maybe it’s an activity like ballroom dancing or parasailing, or it’s something that directly addresses a phobia.
Divide a piece of paper into two columns. On the left hand side, list that fear. Carefully express and define exactly what it is you are afraid of. On the right hand side, write the steps that need to be taken in order to overcome this fear that you created. These steps may be personal or practical. As you write your solutions, your brain will store them, mull them over, and eventually generate some creative and useful responses.
Looking at your list of steps to take, choose one to work on and begin today. Start with the easiest one. When you accomplish it, celebrate yourself, and then move on to the next step.