Monthly Archives: October 2014

Change Your Story, Change Your Life

Everyone loves hearing or telling stories. Stories spur our imagination. Stories give us hope. Stories allow us to express ourselves — our hopes, our fears, our challenges.

Ever stop to think about the kinds of stories you are telling? To yourself? To others?

Do you relate stories of hope and imagination?

Or do you share stories of doom and gloom?

And, do you realize that you can limit or expand yourself by the stories that you tell?

change your story

Think about the stories you have created about yourself.  Do you like those stories? If so, great.  Keep telling them.  If not, then do what a writer does…delete the story and start over. Begin telling a new and different story…one of success, not failure.

We are either failure-conscious or success-conscious.  You are the only one who can rewrite your story. Change your story and you change your life. Authoring your story sometimes requires revision. Make yours the best version you can.

Create A Self-Care Practice

Self-care is NOT selfish.

Making yourself a priority in your own life does NOT mean that you don’t care for your loved ones.

Without self-care, life will overwhelm us. We’ll grow frustrated, depleted, even bitter. Our energy plummets. Our weight skyrockets. We compromise our immune systems and invite all kinds of ailments into our bodies and minds. Our relationships suffer. We find ourselves ill-tempered and uninspired. We lose our confidence. Before we know it, a spiritual cancer has set in.

Self-care will combat this.

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Creating a self-care practice will bring you back to YOU.

How?

Re-prioritize. It’s time to drop back and punt. Resolve to reevaluate your priorities. Put yourself at the top of your priority list. You can’t be number one outside until you are number one inside.

Reconnect with yourself. Ask, “What makes me happy, and what can I do to be the best version of myself?” Take a self-inventory, and then take action!

Retreat to nature. Take in and appreciate the beauty and stillness of nature. Immerse yourself in its restorative power. Open yourself to the lessons nature has to teach.

Rekindle your relationship with spirit. Meditate. Pray. Contemplate. Journal your thoughts and feelings. Recommit yourself to spiritual work.

Refuel your body. Re-energize it by getting enough rest, nourishing yourself with healthy foods, and finding fitness you enjoy.

Redecorate your mind. Renew your thinking through positive affirmations and self-talk. Rip down those dismal drapes of doom and let in the light. Clear out the cobwebs of negativity that have slowed or stalled your progress. Release any thoughts that no longer serve you or the highest good.

Recruit support. Hold yourself accountable. Enlist the help of loved ones, friends, or a coach to help you get your life back in control.

Creating an effective self-care practice is about redesigning your life physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The more you give to yourself, the more you give to your loved ones.

Take care of YOU. You are the only YOU you’ve got.

Gratitude For ALL Things???

Gratitude.

This has been the word of the week around my town after a tornado tore through it this past Monday.  Even though it was on the ground for only a few minutes, it left it’s calling card.

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The townsfolk here are resilient though. People came together to help one another. With the buzzing of chainsaws in the air, people went to work removing the debris that had accumulated in the tornado’s aftermath, all the while giving thanks that their lives were spared. As I navigated through the debris, I encountered a woman who shared with me that a tree had crashed through her home, just missing her and her children. “My house can be replaced. My life and my children’s lives can’t,” she said, “so I am truly blessed.” We hugged and I wished her the best.

Power has yet to be restored in some areas of town, but people refuse to sit idle. They want to help, and they are doing what they can to help others. It’s a beautiful thing to see.  And in every conversation that I hear or overhear, people are giving their thanks despite their losses.

This brings to mind Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote: “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

Yes, this means being grateful for even those things that may appear as obstacles in our lives. Being grateful for all things that happen means embracing not only the good but also the setbacks as part of our overall journey. Everything contributes to who we are and who we are to become.

Seeing our personal “tornadoes” as some kind of punishment is not going to get us through. That is a victim-mindset, something the folks here in town are not displaying, bless their hearts.

Instead, they are not letting this situation define them. They are not focusing on why this has happened to them; they are forging ahead with solutions. They are choosing to be positive. They have a sense of humor. They know that they are not alone. They are allowing others to help them, and they are helping others as well. They are making the best of it so they can move forward.

“Tornadoes” are going to occur from time to time.  They may be emotional. They may be financial. They may be spiritual. Whatever the case, no matter how bad the situation may seem, gratitude will see us through and set us on a new path of discovery.

Cutting Cords

In our relationships, there is a continual exchange of energy, whether we realize it or not.

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This energy is an invisible cord that connects two individuals.  These are the “ties that bind.”

In quantum physics, this is known as “phase entanglement.”  Particles converge and separate, but often when two of them come together, they take a portion of the other with them when they separate. In our relationships, when two people meet, each one’s energy becomes attached to the other, and when the relationship ends, each individual leaves something behind when moving on.

However you view it, or whatever you call it, these cords exist and connect us to others, and they can remain long after a relationship has ended, sometimes leaving an open channel through which emotions and energy can continue to flow.

Think of it as a psychic or invisible umbilical cord through which thoughts, feelings, and energy pass between individuals.

If you’re unaware that it exists, you may find yourself feeling the other person’s feelings and mistakenly think that they are your own.  This kind of psychic vampirism can leave you feeling vulnerable, sad, angry, lethargic, and completely drained of your mojo.

Cutting the cord can help you rid yourself of old baggage and unnecessary attachments, especially from connections that are no longer benefiting either of you.

Cutting the cord of attachment is a gentle but potent process.  It’s best done when you are alone and relaxed, and it’s important that you be strong in your intention to release the cord between you and someone else. There are numerous ways to do this, but you may create your own version or ritual of release. The key components are intention, centering, visualizing, cutting, healing, and blessing.

To begin, state your intention, either aloud or to yourself: “I, (state your name), now intend to release the ties that bind me to (state person’s name).”

Center yourself by breathing deeply. When you are ready, visualize or sense the cord that is connecting you to the individual you have named. Determine where the cut is to be made and then visualize a clean, swift cut through the cord. You may call upon the help of archangel Michael with his sword, or you may visualize yourself or your spiritual being of choice doing the cutting.

Visualize any space in your energy field being filled with healing light so as to “cauterize” this spiritual gap. You may enlist the help of archangel Raphael with his green healing light or another spiritual being.

See this as a positive and nurturing act. Say, “I now release (state person’s name) with love. It is done.” Send it to the light for healing and transformation. Offer your gratitude for this experience.

This does not mean that you are severing the relationship with the person, just the cord that is no longer benefiting either of you. You may have simply outgrown each other, or the relationship may no longer serve a higher purpose. Perhaps it has grown toxic.

Whatever the case, cord cutting is a freeing experience. It releases us, and others, to reach new stages of growth, giving us the space to complete any emotional work that may need to be done.

What has been your experience with cutting cords? Feel free to share.